Toxic Culture, Burnout, Mental Health and a Way Forward
A toxic corporate culture is 10.4 times more powerful than compensation in predicting a company’s attrition rate compared with its industry. Money was #16.
41 percent of respondents were considering leaving their job because they believed employers did not care about their wellbeing.
In the past 10 days I’ve been involved in intense conversations and emails about the experience of safety professionals with a toxic corporate culture, burnout and lack of mental health support. I have also heard from people that quit, got help and created a better job situation for themselves and others. Throughout all, the light of commitment and purpose shown through their stories regardless of their environment. It is that spirit that inspires me to write this essay.
Burn out is very real. But it is caused by illusions. Is that too harsh? Yes, because the pain we feel is real. Yet, it is possible to avoid most of the stress that causes burnout. The events of the past two years have sapped our energy and left us feeling fatigued, sometimes hopeless. We hear about people who left their job, faced the uncertainty, and found satisfying jobs where they feel they have a sense of belonging and respect. We might not have to leave a job, but something must change.
So let’s get to it. First, if there is nothing I can do to change a situation, I accept it, unfairness and all. Acceptance frees me from resentment and leaves me free to think of alternatives. Yes, others may be too demanding or critical. You might be right that you are being disrespected or unappreciated. You probably are. But that doesn’t mean that you must internalize it as depression or illness.
The answers to your questions are all around you, but you must be willing to see and listen.
In eastern philosophy, Maya is a false reality that is constantly changing and is an illusion. The truth about reality is that it is unchanging and filled with a peace that most of us rarely experience. My mind shuts down this idea as ridiculous. But lately I have been exploring the possibility that it is true in a way that I never understood.
The terrible things that happened all around us are very real. If we observe nature we see that the fight for survival is constant. Most human beings do not consciously experience life in this way. But the recent research on psychological safety and the brain’s reactivity to the threat of social exclusion tell another story.
All forms of discrimination against others create the opportunity for constant anxiety and fear. History is full of tragic events resulting from one group’s hostility towards another. It is this history, sometimes repeated in our personal experience, that drives pain and suffering. The mind takes all of this very seriously and is on full alert to protect us. The problem is that the mind isn’t very good at separating real threats from worry. It tends to over rely on past experience, projecting those intentions to the present. Maturity and emotional intelligence can help us separate illusion from reality.
The mind chooses what to believe by comparing present experience to past events
Sometimes the mind is correct in its threat assessment and sometimes it is wrong. Stress is the result of living in a constant state of alert. This is what a toxic corporate culture creates, but should we consider examining if our anxiety is based on reality? We have a way of making things real in our mind. We see and hear what we want or expect to see and hear. Too often this is the cornerstone of our stress. A good example is getting upset because someone else brings up your idea as if it were their own. Why is this upsetting?
Why isn’t it a simple matter of speaking out to remind the person where they heard that idea. Are you are saying to yourself, “I’ve tried. They don’t listen and they don’t understand. Maybe they don’t even care.” I ask again, why is this so upsetting?
It isn’t about overlooking bad behavior
My intention is not to downplay the fact that some people do steal credit from others. My intention is to debunk the idea that we must feel negative emotions because someone acted badly. Suffering is optional, no matter the insult. It shrinks our capacity to be creative and happy. Reducing our suffering frees the mind to respond in productive and compassionate ways. Ultimately, this will also make us more successful in our working relationship and our jobs.
The world will not change. Nor can we change others. But we can change our minds. Everything around us can remain exactly as it is and still, our suffering will end because we have stopped feeling threatened.
I am not naïve about this. If I am in a toxic culture, constantly having to work on myself to not take things personally, I will experience burnout. No, the cure is much more than ignoring what is happening around us. We are bombarded constantly with threats regarding climate change, racism, Covid and financial uncertainty. Then there are the conflicts that happened in all families and relationships from time to time.
People are born with a natural propensity for positivity and caring
Most people are born with a natural propensity for positivity and caring, some never lose it. I used to think those folks were in denial. There aren’t many of them, but they do exist. Some seem to have been born that way. Others credit disciplines such as meditation for their ability to stay centered in the face of constant change.
The path of meditation is worthwhile because it seeks to make us aware that there is something within us that remains constant, always present and unchanging. This is where we can fulfill our fundamental needs for certainty and belonging.
We all had the power to connect with this Self and its true nature. It leads to the question of who am I really? Am I a mass of emotions and feelings triggered by insults or disrespect? Or am I this constant unchanging pillar of serenity and peace?
“Are you suggesting that internalizing depression is a choice? Or that feeling negative emotions is a choice?”
Fay Haywood
This is a question I have struggled with because I have suffered from depression. I believe it is a chemical imbalance in the system. Some may argue that we create that imbalance within ourselves. However, I believe it is the result of our conditioning over many years. Depression is a self-protective mechanism that the mind employs automatically. So I do not think I make a conscious choice to internalize it. Enter conscious awareness and I can detect it early enough to take preventative action.
This cannot be done unless we can make the space in our mind that allows us to go back to center in the midst of chaos. In some way we have to cultivate the ability to stop self-defeating thoughts. The longer we wait, the harder is. And it is very hard to do when people around us reinforce our anxiety with their behavior.
When team members share this awareness, we have a greater chance of success. This is why I wrote The Relationship Factor in Safety Leadership. It is our relationships with each other that reinforce healthy and safe behavior. This is for two reasons: First, we can remind each other to take right action, and second we can support each other in the face of opposition. Others call this a sense of psychological safety, which to me is the antidote for stress.
Ideas for the way forward
It is a mystery why suffering is a part of the human existence. Some say it is evolution’s way of making sure we keep learning. The appreciative inquiry movement question this assumption, do we only learn from mistakes and pain? We could more easily learn from our successes. I don’t claim to have a definitive answer. However, I will share how I lessen my suffering. The result has been an increased freedom to be myself and fully use my gifts.
The process for self-change and improved personal wellness
- Insight and awareness of the need for change—this is the trigger that initiates self-change.
- Willingness to accept that I, alone, am responsible for how I feel.
- Choose how you would like to feel. Notice your habits of thought and feeling. Are they supporting you or diminishing you?
- Seek support and knowledge.
- Acquire the will and courage to take action.
- Enact—engage in a mindful discipline of your choice. (Suggestions below)
- Persevere, forgive yourself and start again.
Consistency and discipline are essential
Commit to the process. Take some time to write down why you are starting this process. What are you hoping to achieve?
Choose a daily practice that you like. If you hate running, try aerobic dance. Don’t choose activities based on what others think is right for you.
Start small. I decided to start doing yoga and found that I could not get through all of the poses or keep them as long. I just did them for as long as I could and eventually I built my strength. Another thing I like about yoga is that I can do it at home.
Meditation is my mental discipline of choice. I began by listening to guided meditations on YouTube that lasted a few minutes. As I began to discover which meditations brought me the most inner peace I was able to build up. Now I meditate twice a day for 20 minutes, which is something I never thought I would achieve.
Vary your practice. Doing the same thing the same way over becomes less beneficial. It is okay to customize activities to fit your preferences. Some possibilities are:
- Mindful breathing to reduce anxiety
- Write a letter of gratitude
- Say thank you three times a day
- Practice apology and forgiveness
Practice self-compassion. Most of our behaviors that cause us stress or conflict in our relationships are the result of self-criticism. If we aspire to bring more harmony into our relationships, we have to begin with ourselves. It is very hard to practice compassion towards others if we do not have it for ourselves. As we practice forgiveness, gratitude, and generosity—those give us a sense of belonging and connection, which are basic human needs.
Final words of encouragement
So there will be many doubts and you might even quit several times. Then, you just wait till the suffering becomes intense enough to ignite new insights and the process begins again and again. If at first you do not see the truth, look again. Spring is coming soon. Let this be a time for renewal and healing from a winters sleep. Let this be a time of growing freedom from the thoughts that cause us stress.
There is comfort in knowing that there is a Self within that is at peace and centered. Above all, I feel very fortunate to have found myself. I strive to choose my own reality regardless of what goes on around me. Sometimes I fail or perhaps I am in denial. No matter, if I keep searching for the truth it will find me. When I am lost, I simply restart the process of coming back to Self.
Offers: if you would like to book Rosa for a presentation or coaching session you may contact her via email at rosa@carrilloconsultants.com.
You may also join her free discussion groups on the Safety View. Register here.
Her new book, The Relationship Factor in Safety Leadership is available from all booksellers.
